THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

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                                              Wedding Vows

If you Would Like to recite you Vows over again here are the vows we use most often.

“I  Wife/Partner 1  / take you Husband/Partner 2 to be my Husband/Partner: / Your Love is my anchor. / Your trust is my strength. / I will give you all my love. / From now until eternity. / You make my life complete.” /

“I  Husband/Partner 2 / take you  Wife/Partner 1  to be my Husband/Partner: / Your Love is my anchor. / Your trust is my strength. / I will give you all my love. / From now until eternity. / You make my life complete.”

                                              Wedding Rings

The wedding ring is a symbol of binding. / A symbol of attachment and of belonging, / not of possession, / but of partnership.

Wife/Partner 1:  I give you this ring,/ as a symbol of my love./ I ask that you wear it as a sign to the world / that you are my (husband/Partner 2)/ With this ring, I thee wed/

Husband/ Partner 2:  I give you this ring,/ as a symbol of my love./ I ask that you wear it as a sign to the world / that you are my (wife/Partner 2)/ With this ring, I thee wed/

                                                       MISTAKE

You think you made a mistake? Think hard..

10 Things to Try if You Regret Getting Married

Start by Remembering

Why did you and your spouse marry? Think about what drew you together and bring up those memories in conversation. Then talk about ways you can revisit or recreate what caused you to fall in love in the first place.

And While You’re Talking…

Maybe it’s time for an honest conversation about your expectations of marriage. Ask your spouse what their idea of an ideal marriage is, and share your thoughts on the subject. Are there ideas you have in common? Build on those.

A Little Humility Goes a Long Way

Try to approach the situation with humility. Remember that you are not perfect either—no one is. It’s likely that your spouse has noticed a few flaws in you too.

Make Time

Make it a priority for you and your spouse to connect on a regular basis. If your schedules are busy, at least sit down for 5-10 minutes before bedtime and check in with each other. If you can, go out by yourselves once a week, even if it’s only for an hour at a park or coffee shop. Take turns asking how the other is doing, and really listen to what they say. Don’t offer solutions or advice unless they ask—just listen.

Pray for Your Marriage

If you haven’t already (and even if you have), take your concerns to God in prayer. Ask Him to reveal to you any ways that you may be contributing to the problems in your marriage. Ask Him to increase the love you have for your spouse. Then, pray for your spouse.

Pray with Your Spouse

Try praying together, maybe during the daily check-in at bedtime. And if you and your spouse are not yet comfortable praying out loud with each other, try holding hands as you pray silently. The person who finishes first can squeeze the other one’s hand to let them know, then wait until they finish.

Hit the Books

It is helpful to search the Scriptures and read what God says about love and marriage. Then, try reading some books that offer guidance and encouragement, such as The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr., The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller, Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, or The Love Dare by brothers Alex and Stephen Kendrick.

Stay Accountable for Your Actions

Consider finding an accountability partner to pray for your marriage and help to keep you on the right track toward the goal of strengthening your marriage. Click here for tips on choosing a good person for this. Whatever you do, don’t bad-mouth your spouse to your friends. That only makes it more difficult to work things out in your marriage.

Accentuate the Positive

Make a list of 10 things you appreciate about your spouse. Keep the list in your wallet or on your phone and add to it when other things come to mind. Review this list periodically, especially when you are away from your spouse (as on a business trip) or you have had a disagreement.

A New Beginning

If your feelings of regret about getting married persist, more intensive outside help may be necessary.* Consider attending  a workshop, which has record of helping of struggling married couples rebuild their relationships and find happiness in marriage.

The truth is, marriage is not always easy, even for the most compatible of couples.

On the days when you may not feel love toward your spouse, you can endeavor to rise above that and show love for your spouse. And working through the list above may help you to overcome any feelings of regret and discover a love that is deeper than you ever thought possible.

*If abuse, addiction, serious mental illness, or another such situation is happening in your marriage, seek outside help immediately. Those issues must be dealt with before you can move toward a healthy marriage relationship.

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